22/3/17:
Today there were two interesting developments for me, one being in the rehearsal itself and one in the session afterwards where we had to critique each other on how we are in rehearsals.
During the rehearsal, we were working on a scene we're devising which incorporates some light physical theatre and we had to think of some idiosyncrasies and I couldn't really think of any in the short time we were given, I was making some up as we went along and I came up with 2 movements. The first being movement where I point at the ground when we stop walking as if I'm saying "Shall we preach here?". The second is where I rub my hand across my head as if I'm releasing a little bit of tension. I felt this was fitting since he's in an environment that he knows he's weak to, he's only not betting at that moment because Miss Motrom is with him and he has to resist the urge to gamble so showing that aspect of him through gestures seemed ideal.
After doing this I felt that I really that the character needs to be given a nervous energy. As I said he is on edge a fair bit and is resisting a big urge and may have an element of withdrawal or a visual indicator that he's trying to repress it all. This is quite important to his character especially with the backstory I've created for him. An idea I have is that he may look around a lot and almost be shifty or that he's trying not to notice certain things that he loved before. He could be looking away from the bookies and the track itself. This all applies to the everything before he loses Miss Motrom.
The other part of today was having a session in which we gave construction feedback on each others rehearsal attitudes. Overall my feedback was fairly positive saying that I'm never late, I'm generally enthusiastic, I show a lot of research and analysis of both my character and background of the play. I'm generally quite committed, I have a confident presence on stage, I'm pretty good at applying my findings to my characters and I show some good variation with those characters. Those notes made me quite happy but there were some faults I was given.
- The first and most obvious is that I can lose focus sometimes and talk to people when I could be doing other things such as line running or when a scene is being rehearsed by others.
- One is that I tend to either over think or over work myself. I do agree with this to an extent, meaning that when I have to make up an aspect of my character, I often find it difficult to improvise and have to think about it instead of just going with the flow. I'm definitely more of a planner rather than an improviser. Such as when I thought of how to act aggressive as Hugh a couple of week ago, I had the idea but held back anyway and didn't try it out properly since I subconsciously thought I would go too far.
- One note I had for myself was that I don't contribute enough. I often have ideas but just don't want to say them for various reason. I had an idea for a scene transition with Miss Mortrom involving when we go off and come back on for our preaching scene but I didn't want to suggest it just in case it was rubbish.
Looking back at myself over the rehearsal period, I would say that I agrre with most of these claims, both good and bad. There are a few things for me to do to improve in the future when it comes to rehearsing:
- Try not talking to people unless it is to do with the work.If someone tries to start a conversation with me about anything other than the work, try to wrap it up quickly.
- Try to improvise more and suggest any ideas that come to mind. Any idea is worth hearing just in case it can affect the production positively
- Try not to worry about anything to do with my character and only focus on the things that can help me with the performance such as the research I've done and anything to develop my character.
Those are some simple goals I want to try out. As for the session before, I think I was OK but with the idea example I mentioned, I definitely need to improve a tad.
23/3/17:
Today we ran act one from start to finish and it went pretty well in a few ways:
When rehearsing I didn't go on stage with my script at all and required almost no prompting, that was only for one or two sentences that I needed the beginning of, I knew my lines very well and feel I have reached my target for learning act one, however something that I'm not all there with yet is my cues, there's still a couple that I get mixed up but that just means I need to go over it more.
I felt that I was a little more focused today as well, there were quite few point where I had to stop myself saying something and generally listened a little more. I'm not saying I was terrible before but today I was definitely better today
I wanted to do some additional research into compulsive gambling so I read an article which contained a story about a woman who had a compulsive gambling addiction and it had very similar qualities to my backstory for Mr Tillotson, especially in regards to the escalation the addiction, requiring more and more money to get full satisfaction out of it. reading the research into how these people act has really made me want to portray him as sympathetic. I've said before there is tragedy to him but the fall from grace needs to be more apparent although I do not want to take away the light hearted moments from him.
A note I was given was to think about what is at stake for any character I have, particularly Hugh. The thing that Immediately came to mind was his job. He mentions, "If we don't fight, we'll get kicked out of the yard" implying he's scared of losing his job if it isn't settled. This also fits with what I thought before about him not wanting Jocks around in case a strike was called on. He disagrees with Jocks so he has to fight him other wise he loses his job and can't find work anywhere else because of Pearce's influence but if a strike is called on and he doesn't participate, he'll lose it anyway so he's in a difficult situation but all he wants is for Jocks to be gone. Trying this out seems to give him more of a sense of urgency and like what he's talking about actually matters. Trying it out the second time did improve it quite a bit.
24/317:
Something I'm happy I got to try out was my nervous energy for Mr Tillotson. I put it in the scene where I frantically ask Katrina "Have you seen a religious lady go in that toilet?". That really influenced the rest of the scene, I paced up and down holding and nervously tapping my scene thinking that I could relapse at any moment since she's not her to help me. It really added to the moment for me and when I actually asked her it was kind of funny, it showed a real moment of desperation and the beginning of his weak side.
I did use my script a few times today for some act 2 scenes, it's not very well memorised yet although I'm getting there. I've still got a couple days to go to reach my target date to memorise it, so this will be my focus for the next couple of days. I am happy to say though I'm making progress with the fast list reading, I managed to do the first two thirds of it just from memory. The recording idea really is helping to get it done faster.
I did notice I need to mark my script a little more thoroughly since I forgot some of my exits or I had to keep checking to see where they were. Other than that though I feel today I was very well focused and am showing some progress with my characters in a good way.
27/3/17:
I had a small idea I really want to try out. When I've finished doing my round off of the horses names, I could do an action to show I'm enjoying it like some kind of high. A comparison I can think of is a scene from "Breaking Bad" where Walter has just confronted some drug dealers, goes back to his car and releases his high by hitting his steering wheel. I could do a similar action like punching the air and saying "YES!" something to show for a brief moment that I've relapsed and I love it. I could also act as though it's a moment where I've shown what I feel but then I have to hide it, I've noticed how I'm, acting so I stop although probably still have a little smirk on my face.
29/3/17:
Today was an attempt to run through the first act although we kept stopping to try and improve certain aspects of it. Today I did have quite a few ideas for small moments in my scenes and today I actually suggest them:
The first was to tap Jocks on the head in an aggressive manner when calling him Kemosabe. Since he feels he may lose his job he wants to get across the seriousness of the situation and also fulfill his urge to hit jocks to some capacity. It also makes him seem more imposing and serious than he did before. The idea worked when we tried it out and now there's more tension and aggression in the scene than there was before.
I suggested that Max doesn't hit my head when he does, every time he does it, he does it so hard I forget my next line. I suggested that he do it after I say "Can't have reds in the yard" and then as he says shut up, he can hit me. It doesn't say he slaps me in the script so changing it to this seems more fitting and actually gives him more reason to slap me since I keep talking. Before the slap seemed a bit more random.
Also we had to block a moment Chloe and I forgot about, where I go to grab her hand after hearing about what happened to her. I have to grab her hand but it's meant to be very awkward. I thought we were doing it too fast and that it should linger a bit however it seems as though it should be a very natural grab of the hand followed by a quick rejection from her. After the session I thought that I could be just trying to comfort her and maybe gesture towards her suggesting that it's OK and I'll help her. I do have to rehearse with Chloe some more since its awkward and doesn't feel right. It feels pretty forced if anything.
Sally said we have to go through the scenes (especially monologues) and visualise the things we're describing. It may help to externalise it. Also i'm thinking of setting a goal to go through my script and consider my goal and motivation for almost everything I do, I already have my detailed back story so it might not be difficult. I thought about doing this after the next thing i'll talk about. It again, might help to externalise.
31/3/17:
We also ran through the most of act 2 and I thought about how the Jockey and how he should act. His dialogue is just him explaining the feeling he gets when he walks out to start the day. I feel that the way he's explaining this may sound like he wants to impress them.
The way I've decided to play him for now is a little like Jim Carrey from "Ace Ventura". Someone who's very full of themselves and wants to be better off than he is. I get the feeling he really doesn't like his horse since he calls it a bastard when it interrupts his short speech about the joys of going over the downs. The fact he says "You wade through the bullshit" implies he really doesn't like where he is. When I talk about my diaphragm, I'm going to hit it to show how hard it is, or at least what he thinks it is. Doing this is really a way to differentiate him from the other two as well as give him a more comedic personality which is what his dialogue seems to be implying. It also adds a sense of energy to my performance. Trying it out went pretty well and I intend to keep him like this.
Today's run of act 1 (Which was a speed run for blocking and line learning) went very well, I didn't forget any lines although there were one or two moments I stuttered for a second due to that we were going quite fast. Other than that I was pretty focused and we all got the act done fairly quickly and efficiently.
2/4/17:
While rehearsing the script today, I wondered if, during their last scene, Mr Tillotson and Miss Motrom actually give up their faith or if they've given up staying away from their addictions. I say "That's no good, religion" and "I tried to get it in me, the manger and the tomb. I've just ended up punctured all over" This seems to heavily imply that he never really believed it at all and that he just uses it as a means to help himself. Initially the wording of everything in this scene felt like there was some ambiguity to it, however trying it again it seems pretty clear that they (or at the very least Mr Tillotson) have given up with believing in god or just stopped pretending. They both seemed to clearly renounce their faith. This fits in with what I had speculated before about him really only using it for help and needing the assistance of someone who would be strict enough to keep him on the right path. He even tries to keep her from giving in, which when you add that bit of information onto everything, gives him more motivation for wanting her to stop and stay on the right path. If she gives up then he has no one to help him.
The other angle is if they still give into their addictions. This is something that is never answered, so my guess is that they did give in eventually. Mr Tillotson gave in as soon as he was alone and Miss Motrom gave into her urge to drink although she did get to because I knock the drink out of her hand. The ending as a whole seems a tad lighthearted and suggests that they may be OK but since they gave in so easily I feel they would go through cycles of giving in and relapse at least a few times. They may have hope when they leave Epsom but I feel they may have given in and maybe tried stopping again at some point down the line.
I wanted to see if this was actually plausible so I looked up what can cause a relapse from addiction and it confirmed that people who are in environments that remind them of using or the reasons why they got addicted are likely to be tempted. The two of them openly admit that they will be tempted when they try and get back home. For example Mr Tillotson says "I don't know if I'll make it, they'll be crap games spilling out from the fair all over there." This is in reference to the ways he would be able to gamble with the people that hang out around the area. The fact he admits he's doubtful, he just had a relapse as well the fact he has and will be surrounded by opportunities to gamble doesn't imply that he would be able to resist for very long. So going by some psychological evidence, he is likely to give up.
Thinking about this has made the character a little more fleshed out and gives more purpose to the moment in question. When he says to Miss Motrom "Let's have a prayer", I'm going to play it as though it's a desperate attempt to help himself by helping her. I do still believe that he cares for her as a person and as someone who has gone through bad times, he does sympathise with her a lot and wants her to get better. Doing this is his best chance to keep himself away from it all and he's messed it up by giving in and potentially ruining it forever. He certainly regrets doing it and tries to make it right for that brief moment.
Links:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-the-brain-gets-addicted-to-gambling/
https://www.promises.com/articles/addiction/common-relapse-triggers/
https://counsellorsam1.wordpress.com/2012/10/17/632/
https://www.theguardian.com/observer/osm/story/0,,482474,00.html
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